Webresources Joke Page [1] Trial for Murder,The Zoo Keeper & The Mime ,What Gadgets Has Your Car Got

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.

The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, 'Help, Help me!', but the lion is quick and pounces.

The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, 'Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?'

Trial for Murder

The Zoo Keeper & The Mime

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick:

'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,' the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. 'Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.’

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, 'Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed, and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.’

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

'But how?' inquired the lawyer. 'You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.

' The jury foreman replied, 'We looked, all right. But your client didn't.'

This L.A. guy bought a brand new Mercedes, and as luck would have it, he pulls up to a stoplight next to a guy with the same car.

They eyed each other and the other guy said, 'You got a phone in yours?'

'Yes, I've got a phone!'

'You got a TV?

What Gadgets Has Your Car Got ?

'Yes, I've got a TV!'

'You got a bed in yours?'

'A bed??? No!'

he replies dejectedly. The light changed and they took off. This got to working on the guy. He thought he had everything.

So, he turns around and drives straight to the dealership and tells them he wants a bed put in. They tell him that Mercedes don't come with beds, but the man was adamant and demanded a bed be installed. Finally, they said they'd figure out a way.

The guy picks up his car and for the next two weeks drives all over L.A. looking for that guy to show him that he had a bed, too. He finally spots the car in a parking lot and pulls in beside it.

He gets out and knocks on the window. No answer. He knocks again. No answer.

He starts to walk away when the window rolls slowly down a bit and the guy growls,

'What do you want?'

He says, 'I got a bed in my car!'

The guy replies,

'You got me out of the shower just to tell me that?

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