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In the back woods of Arkansas, Scotty's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: |
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'Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing.' |
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Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. |
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'Whoa there Scotty!' said the doctor. |
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'Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come.' |
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Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass. |
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'No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad...It seems there's yet another one besides!' |
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cried the doctor. Scotty scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: |
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'Do ye think it's the light thats attractin' them?' |
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Try This To Lose Weight ? |
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Mr Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him in a diet. |
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'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. |
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The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds.' |
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When Mr Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. |
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'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, |
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'Did you follow my instructions?' |
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Mr Lee nodded. 'I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.' |
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'From hunger, you mean?' |
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'No, from skipping.' |
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A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother, who lived a couple of hours away. |
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'Well, darling,' said her mom, 'how was the honeymoon?' |
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'Oh, mother,' she replied, |
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'the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time! But, mother, as soon as we returned, Sam began using really horrible language... Stuff I'd never heard before... Really terrible 4-letter words... You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MOTHER!' |
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And the new bride began to sob over the telephone. But honey,' the mother countered, |
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'WHAT 4-letter words?' 'I can't tell you, mother,' said the daughter, 'they're too awful! |
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COME GET ME, P L E A S E !!!' |
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'Darling daughter, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell mother the 4-letter words!' |
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Still sobbing, the bride said, 'Mother....words like: DUST... WASH... IRON... COOK.. |
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After The Honeymoon ? |
